One of my (many) weaknesses, is, at times, I take things just as they present themselves without cogitating enough. And sometimes I give voice to my ill-informed thinking without mulling things over in my head. This makes for teasing fodder that just never ends.
True Stories
Tommy No Se Picker
Years ago I saw a shirt in a sports store. It looked very similar to the Tommy Hilfiger shirts of the time. I said to my family, who were in the store too (unfortunately). “Look at this shirt. What the heck is Tommy No Se Picker?” They pointed out that it was Tommy Nosepicker. And they have never forgotten that one.
Fujiologists
Yesterday a friend and I attended a travel presentation on China. It was given by another friend who is an avid photographer and traveler. With one of the slides, he said “and for the fujiologists in the crowd-here’s a xxxxx”. My brain was stuck on fujiologists. What the heck do fujiologists do? Then I connected my friend’s profession and it dawned on me.
“And for the few geologists in the crowd”.
Fortunately I never said this one out loud. But I supposed putting in a blog is pretty much the same thing.
Tell me-have you had similar experiences?
Barb's True Stories 
I hear and read stuff that way all the time, Barb. No examples off the top of my head but if you are collecting, I will send any as they occur in future.
My sister has spent a lifetime collecting fractured sayings, such as the time my Mother-in-law admonished us not to kick a gift horse in the mouth. She is going to write a book, she says.
You have to wonder how many misunderstandings have occurred or at least how many people are left scratching their heads.
I saw an essay once called No mayonnaise in Ireland. The writer had the problem of which you speak – it was actually No Man is an Island but that is not what he heard. It is sort of Damn you, Auto-corrrect inside our heads
I’ve got two stories like this. One about me and one about Lyn. For me, it was a gas station/ car wash. “Pross heiny? What’s a Pross heiny?” (Proshine). For Lyn, a restaurant. “What’s a Cheesest Eak?” (Cheesesteak).
I no longer feel alone.
Well, this is not quite the same thing but it is close: I once was trying to describe one of our students to some colleagues, and I came out with “you know, he’s the one with the dreadknots in his hair”. Now there is such a thing as a “dreadnaught”, but it is definitely not something that anyone would have in his hair! I of course meant to say “dreadlocks”, as my colleagues quicly reminded me, once they got up after rolling around on the floor laughing. … I also recall when I was a kid thinking that our national anthem was “Old Canada!”. And then there is the story about the kid who thought that the prayer went “holy, Mary, full of grapes…”!
The thing is sometimes people might say things and you know what they mean so you don’t even catch the mistake. Really dreadnaught would be a good word for a hairstyle, when you think about it. We have a friend who makes up words but often when you reflect, you think, gee, that would likely be a good word. Tarmat, for example. He used that word once to describe the landing strip (tarmac). However, tar is used in making it and it’s like a mat for landing, so why not?