Category: Life’s observations

Checking Out a Human Book

by barbstruestories, posted in Human Libray, Interesting things..who would have known?, Life's observations

My friend and I made a trip to the Ottawa Public Library recently.  We wanted to take part in the Human Library Project.  This is from the Human Library website: “The Human Library is an innovative method designed to promote dialogue, reduce prejudices and encourage understanding. The main characteristics of the project are to be found in its simplicity and positive approach.”

This year the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) radio worked with the Human Library.Org to host Human Library Days in 15 cities across Canada.  My friend and I  drove a fair distance to check out specific “books” based on our interest.   You can’t reserve a book before you get there and you can only check out one book at a time and then you must go back to registration to see if there are other times available with other books.  The system is designed on a first come, first served basis and to allow more people a chance to check out a book.  There are some “rules” for the discussion with your book as well.  

My Human Book was Theresa Dupuis. She gave me permission to write about our discussion.  She was listed under: blind octogenarian.  Here’s a bit of the discussion with her beforehand.  http://www.cbc.ca/player/News/Canada/Ottawa/Audio/ID/2327013464/

The time we had together (20 minutes) flew by.  I asked her where she got her zest for life.  She talked about the difficult things that have happened in her lifetime (including losing her sight) and her determination to move on.  She didn’t gloss over the hurt or sense of loss but she talked about the need to work with the cards you are dealt.  Theresa talked about her family and her upbringing as one likely source of her resolve.  She was a delight.  

Theresa brought some of the technology she uses in everyday life.  A book reader (she belongs to a book club) and a talking calculator.  She brought the trophy she received as Skier of the Year, this after she lost her sight.  And finally a sculpture of a mother and child that she proudly had on display.  

I asked Theresa how she learned of the various supports and assistances that are available to people who are sight impaired.  She said she did the research on her own.  Theresa used to work for a Member of Parliament in the Government of Canada and was well versed in how to find out how things worked.  She brought those skills to bear in dealing with her blindness.  

Looking back, I think she was filed under the wrong category.  Theresa should have been listed under “vibrant woman who lives without the sense of sight”.   I learned a great deal in the short time we had together.   I usually never check out a book more than once.  My view is there are so many books in the world, why spend time reading any one of them more than once.  When it comes to Human Books though, it’s time for me to change my tune.

From time to time we meet people who have a very special zest for life.   You watch them and wonder what it is that makes them tick.  Have you met someone like that? What was it that drew you to them?

A Mind at Work-Blogging or Dreaming

by barbstruestories, posted in Life's observations, Writing

While “modern” man knows more about the human mind than was ever known in the past (at least we’d like to believe we do), we really know very little.  How do things really work upstairs anyway?  I’d like to know where the storage facility is and how to go about purging information that’s no longer needed so there’s room for more pertinent, up to date information.  Although if you could really do that then I wouldn’t have remembered Eli Sopow’s name.  The fun thing about that ‘true story’ is that Dr. Sopow contacted me after the blog!  This proves the theory that you never know when you might need something.  This thought is particularly relevant right now as I am moving through the house with renewed purpose to reduce, re-use and recycle.   I am a woman on a mission.  But I digress.  

Blogs where do the ideas come from? I fancy myself a bit of a conceptual thinker, taking concepts or events from one context and seeing if they are relevant in other circumstances.  This blog post is a case in point.   I try to make sense of things by connecting them to other things I already know-a compare and contrast effort.  It’s not for everyone but it is, as the young folk say “the way I roll”.

Dreams, where do the ideas come from?  I had a dream recently that made me think my mind treats dreams as it treats blogs.  My subconscious puts two things together and says, hey that would be a good dream.  And here it is:

A few weeks ago my friend Al posted some pictures of his younger days. He was playing a guitar.   I didn’t realize he had a musical background (and can’t find that picture now-speaking of filing things-Al, maybe you can send it along).  Around the same time there was an article in the paper about Canadian singer Jane Siberry.  Jane now plays only in small venues or people’s homes.  And my dream?  I was in someone’s house and Al was singing and playing his guitar.  He gave a very good performance and when the evening drew to a close he passed around an envelope.  I put in $30.  Good concert, Al.  Interesting dream, there, mind of mine.

Do you find your mind strings together different things to put into a dream?  Got an example you can share?

There Is A Truth About This Blog

by barbstruestories, posted in Life's observations, Randy Bachman, Simply Biscotti Project

One of my friends uses the phrase “there is a truth” to preface some of his remarks.  It’s an unusual phrase.  I imagine the idea is to add credibility to what comes next.  It’s never been clear to me if it’s a “truth” known world-wide or just in his mind. 

Here’s my go then, at ‘there is a truth’, about this blog (the year-end stats WordPress provides follows below if you are at all interested).  I will try to be as objective as I can about the whole thing.

  1. 55 posts in 2012-not exactly a house on fire.  The first year was only 8 months and there were 53 posts in that time.  I seem to be flagging.  Question: if you read this blog routinely, is its regularity (or lack thereof) an issue for you?  People who blog daily must be very organized or full of ideas and it seems I am neither.
  2. 5800 views in 2012-not exactly viral.  Now, my husband once teased that most of those views are mine but I know someone else is reading the blog because I hear from you and I thank you.  Question: what is your taste in blogs?  Is it certain topics or bloggers, controversy, photos, hobbies?
  3. The quest to eat my way through the counter at Simply Biscotti (the reason for this blog at the onset) is moving at a slow pace.  Not because it isn’t enjoyable, it’s just there have been many other things to keep my days occupied.  Question: if you live in Ottawa, have you visited Simply Biscotti?  I’ve visited the bistro with a number of friends-from in town and out-of-town and I’ve had some great visits with Rosa, the owner as a result of this blog.  That’s a plus and a good reason to keep up the quest.  
  4. The most views of the blog in 2012 was about my friend Ella.  The title was Ella’s Tree. 
  5. Randy Bachman brings more people to my blog site than any other search.  Now, there’s some humour in that, isn’t there?  People are interested in Mr. Bachman’s marital status.  I noticed hits on the topic shortly after I did a blog about seeing him at a book launch.  And people keep asking the question about whether he is separated.  There’s no search on our garden bounty this year or many other topics that have struck me as blog worthy but lots of queries about a rock legend.  Question: Should I start writing about public figures and not expound on the value of horse manure in taking little things and growing them into big things.  Oh, wait, they may be the same thing!

And so to those of you who are good enough to read this blog regularly or sporadically, thank you.  I always appreciate feedback, whether a comment on the blog or by email.  Any comments or suggestions you have for me are most welcome.

I wish you all the best in 2013.  

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,800 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 10 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Remembrance Day 2012-Thank You Dad

by barbstruestories, posted in Family, Life's observations, Observations, Remembrance Day

Our father, Bill Allen, served in the army in World War II.  He initially trained others to drive tanks here on Canadian soil and then he served overseas-Northern Africa and Italy.  He service ended before the end of the war due to serious illness.  He contracted rheumatic fever and was sent home.

He was a man of solid character, our Dad.  A bit of a rascal some would say.  Well perhaps many would say that and we (three daughters) enjoyed his sense of adventure, wit and humour.  He was full of mischief.  His service in the war was never a big topic of conversation or perhaps I just wasn’t listening.  If it was the latter, that is a shame for Dad never lived long enough for me to be wise enough to ask him more.  He died at the relatively young age of 61 in 1979.  I can only imagine the experience, the impact and the horrors of war that our Dad experienced.

Men and women who served and returned must hope and trust their work and sacrifice makes the world a better place.  This was brought home to me in a very real way when in the 1970’s I was held up at gun point while working in a pharmacy in Regina, Saskatchewan.  I was not harmed.  Shaken, but not harmed.  When I called my Dad to tell him what had happened, he said “I never served in the war so that some ba@#$rd could hold a gun to my daughter’s head!”.  And I thought how he and others might have held hope the world would be rid of all evil as a result of their efforts.

If Dad were alive today, I’d travel to wherever he lived from wherever I lived.  I’d accompany him to a Remembrance Day Ceremony.  And I would tell him the world is a better place because of his service.

Thank you Dad.

A Rose Inside a Teardrop

by barbstruestories, posted in Life's observations

I wear a necklace, a rose inside a tear drop.  It was given to me eight years ago and is said to be a symbol of love that never dies.

Eight years ago on this date, September 11th, my sister died.  She began feeling ill on Thursday and by Saturday night she was gone.  It was a very rare condition but that’s beside the point for it doesn’t much matter, rare or common, does it.  She was not yet 50 years old and by the dawn on the Sunday, the lives of her husband, two beloved teenage daughters and the rest of us were forever changed.

She was a loving mother, wife, daughter, aunt, sister, friend, colleague, nurse and salt of the earth.  

You’d be rare if you have never had someone close to you die.  There’s no rhyme or reason, no equitable formula where grief is spread equally across families or friends.  Some people, some families seem to have such loss.  I wonder at times how some manage.

Our thoughts and reactions in grief are unique.  I remember thinking it felt as if our family had been walking along, all arm in arm, all marching in time and collectively we fell flat, face first.  The wind was knocked from our lungs.  We couldn’t breathe.  I remember wondering (just as I did when each of my parents died) why the world hadn’t stood still, at least for a while.  

Time has a way of taking some of the edge off the sharpness of the days, weeks and months and now years that follow the death of a loved one.   Her place in our family endures, I see her in her daughters.  They are vibrant, accomplished and enjoy so many of the interests she instilled in them in their young lives.  Her husband has been a strong, caring and dedicated single parent.  

I have tested the strength of that gift, the necklace.  Many times I have forgotten I was wearing the chain and yanked an article of clothing over my head, the necklace flying across the room.  The chain has never broken.  It has occasionally fallen off, gone missing and somehow re-surfaces.  The necklace endures, as does its symbolism of love that never dies.  

Love you, Joanne.

Going Home and Coming Back Home

by barbstruestories, posted in Going home, Happiness, Life's observations

I have just returned from a vacation to Saskatchewan.  Saskatchewan is home.  At least it was  for the first five decades of my life.  It has been said that you must leave home and return in order to see it for the first time.  It’s true for me.  You see the beauty, the scenery, even the people with eyes that are somehow fresher as a result of time and distance.  

Canadian folk singer Connie Kaldor grew up in Saskatchewan.  She has lived in Quebec for some time and yet has written several songs about her native province.  I became a fan of hers when I lived in Saskatchewan.  I always wondered how she could see things so clearly and it is possibly because of that time and distance.

My view of Saskatchewan is a biased one.  I was raised and educated there.   It’s where I met my husband, where we raised our daughter and where we were able to find meaningful and challenging work.  Much of our wonderful family still lives there.  When I visit Saskatchewan I feel it fills up my soul and I bring that feeling back with me when I return to our current home in Ontario.  Now we have two “homes” where we have family and close friends.  Who could ask for anything more. 

During your life have you been transplanted from your native home to another place on the planet?  If so, what is it like for you to “go home”?

Witticism in Few Words

by barbstruestories, posted in Birthday Greetings, Friendship, Life's observations, On the subject of "maturity"

Some days you can look and look for a greeting card that is just right and you come up empty.    Or you could choose a card thinking it was so very witty or fitting and find the recipient didn’t see it in the same light.    Has this happened to you?  I’d be interested in your true story.  

Then once in a while you find a card and think “Aha, this will be great!”

The Event

We are invited to a friend’s birthday party tonight.  I bought her a card I thought very witty.  I hope she does too.  If she doesn’t then I guess there could  be a follow-up blog titled “No So Witty After All”

The Visual

(credit to American Greetings)

The Greeting Inside

Three Truths of Community Gardening in Ottawa

by barbstruestories, posted in Community garden plots, Green (sometimes) thumb, Life's observations

Green (sometimes) Thumb-Year Two

A former colleague used an interesting phrase when trying to make a point and wanting to convince you of the veracity of his comment.  “There is a truth”, he would say and then he’d go on to tell you that “truth”.  I always thought it odd, that phrase, and a bit of a push to have you believe something or make it true by prefacing it with that phrase.  

Yesterday at the “farm” (community garden plot), in addition to several weeds, I unearthed the following three “truths”.

1. There is no such thing as making a “quick visit to the garden”  

If you are a gardener, do tell me if it’s possible to have a quick visit to your garden.  There’s no such thing in my experience.  Oh, I’ll just go quickly and see how the tomatoes are doing.  I’ll pinch them back and bit and then I’ll leave.  Well, the tomato pinching is one thing, then you see potato beetles and off you go down those rows, and hey what about those squash that need watering and well look at how the weeds are taking over in that corner.  And so the planned 20 minute visit ends 2.5 hours later.  It is a truth there is no such thing as making a quick visit to your garden-whether it be flower or vegetable.  

2. Gardeners are generous in spirit and advice

Gardeners are a friendly sort.  It’s not a competition and they give freely of their advice.  “Cover up your cabbages until they are stronger or the moths will eat them”.    They commiserate in your sorrow.  They say, “Yes,  those cucumber beetles are terrible and no I don’t know what to do to combat them.  It really is too bad after all the effort you’ve put in but it’s a bad year for them this year. ”  If they have too many plants, they will ask you if you want some for your garden.  Here, take these.  I thought they were romaine lettuce plants and turns out they are swiss chard and now I’m drowning in swiss chard.  Or, have some peas and some beans, they are very good and here’s how I cook the beans.    It is a truth gardeners are generous in spirit and full of advice.

3. Gardening in Ottawa is an opportunity or observe the interaction of many cultures and to joyfully watch the mingling and richness of the interaction.  

Ottawa, Ontario is a very multicultural city.  This city has the 5th largest immigrant population in Canada.  Our neighbours in the allotment garden are a shining example of Canada’s rich multicultural citizenry.  Here’s an example of interactions yesterday in our little corner of the garden:

  • Lebanon: Lebanese born neighbour (Lebanese-first language, English-second language) brings over some sort of beans.  He doesn’t know their English name but explains how to cook and serve them and hands over a goodly amount to this unilingual anglophone.  He grows Lebanese beans.
  • Burundi: Burundi born neighbour who speaks either Rundi or Swahili along with French and English.  He grows African corn. He is a neighbour to the man originally from Lebanon.    They don’t seem to understand much of what each are saying but they stand around and point at different plants.
  • Francophone: the man who does roto-tilling with his garden tractor speaks French as a first language, English as a second.  The Lebanese neighbour tries to explain some sort of request to the francophone who does not understand.  When he’s not understood the Lebanese man starts to speak louder, as if that would help.

Quite a thing to be part of and to observe.  Makes you happy to be Canadian…even if you aren’t much of a gardener compared to many of those around you.  

If we stay at it long enough perhaps we will be able to make short visits to the garden (because we are on top of everything), we will have bounty to give away to others.  We already are part of the culture, although learning some new languages like Lebanese and Burundi would be a nice touch.

Do you have any garden observations to share?  Or multicultural experiences?

A Year Away From The Day to Day

by barbstruestories, posted in Beyond full time work, Happiness, Life's observations, Observations in retirement, Retirrement, Rewirement

Life’s transitions and purpose

If you are fortunate, you are able to experience many transitions in life.  Infancy to childhood, childhood to the teenage years from there to young adulthood and so on.  In addition to the transition from one age to another, we have many other life transitions.  We start out totally dependent on others, move to complete independence and for some of us we may end up towards the end of our lives being totally dependent on others once again.

I have known some people who have had very clear ideas about their lives.  As  a child they knew they wanted to grow up to be a (fill in the blank), they wanted to buy a house, have 2 children, travel and so on.  Lots of things to do, lots of things to accomplish and not a lot of time to do it, it seems.  

Purpose

My mother had many sayings.  They are all indelibly burned into my memory.  They should be burned in for we heard them over and over again!  One of them is “everyone has to have a purpose”.  It’s true and it’s plain speak for a life with meaning.  We may feel  we have more than one purpose but it or they are there somewhere swimming around in our conscious or unconscious selves.  That purpose may be re-focussed as we go through life.  While very young, perhaps our play was our work and purpose, then school, adult relationships, a family of our own and a career.   Then comes a time when full-time work ends-for some they choose to say goodbye and for some the end is decided for them.  There will be quite a bit of that in our city over the next few years as there will be downsizing in the federal public service.

So How’s Retirement, They Ask

I stepped aside from full-time, flat-out work just over a year ago. Here’s my take on this transition:

  • Rewirement is the word. We need to use a new word for this stage in life.  The word is rewirement.  Retirement might have started out as good term but now sounds too lethargic, too flat, too, well, too retired.  I’m not retiring, I’m rewiring.
  • Everything takes longer than you expect.  I thought I’d be a lot more organized than I am one year out.  Boy it takes a lot of time
  • You notice more things. Not flying out the door to work early in the morning and returning many hours later day after day you have a bit more time to look at things with new eyes.  How long has that bit of the house needed painting?  Have I ever cleaned that closet?  
  • Photos do not organize themselves.  If you avoided tasks before you left full-time work, you will avoid them afterward.
  • Time and freedom of choice.  Whether you take up some part-time work, immerse yourself in old or new hobbies, connect or re-connect with family and friends, the choice is yours.
  • The day in, day out routine.  Don’t miss it one bit.  The people yes, the routine of up and out the door day after day, no.  I am fortunate to be doing some part-time consulting and find the variety and flexibility to be wonderful.
  • Connections are the key.  Life is rich and purposeful when we are connected.  Connected to our loved ones, our friends, a community.  Connections can take many forms and they are what give us purpose.  If you think others care a great deal about what you do or that it makes you something special, another of my mother’s sayings ring true.  “The higher the monkey climbs, the more you can see his ass.”
  • A lifestyle to be highly recommended.  Yes work is important and yes we get tied up in careers and things, however I would recommend life beyond full-time work for anyone who is able.  It seems a bit backwards that when we are younger, perhaps raising young children and busy with so many things that we also may have full-time work in our day. It’s upside down, really.  I believe many people would like to work part-time but circumstances don’t allow it.  

Life can pass in what seems like the blink of an eye.  Make the most of it. 

Have you found your life stages unfolded as you anticipated?  Do you have words of wisdom to share?