Tag: Friendship

Don’t Cry Because It Is Over, Smile Because It Happened

by barbstruestories, posted in Death, Friendship, Life's observations

One of our dearest friends has died

He faced a relentless disease with optimism, courage and grace

 In the face of a reality that could have been consumed by despair

He rose above, giving and receiving love and support

 The disease was transparent as it never obscured

The heart and strength of this man, who lived life to the fullest

From Taoism comes a teaching of the balance of life that holds

Every life is filled with ten thousands joys and ten thousand sorrows

I choose to interpret the teaching as joys abound

And can be found in everyday life, like the small things

That culminate in a friendship that withstands all

It cannot be replaced and will for all time in memory stand

While sorrows are few, as singles, they count in hundred fold

We think of what he would want us to think and it would be

 Do not cry because it is over.  Smile because it happened

 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

 

 

Simply Biscotti XV

by barbstruestories, posted in Simply Biscotti Project, Winter

We are living in the dead of winter in these parts.  While there are parts of Canada that get much colder than here, we end up defaulting to how cold it is here compared to the seasonal average as reported by Environment Canada.  I sound very much like the elder when I say “Cold!  You don’t know cold!  Why, where I grew up it was so cold that we had to chip the ice off the water in the wash basin!”    An exaggeration, but you know how it goes.

What better way to put in a sunny cold afternoon than to connect with a friend over a large mug of tea and a couple of Simple Biscotti treats.  

IMG_1580

In the background is a lemon custard tart with meringue topping.  It looked very pretty.  The lemon custard filling was different.  My friend had thought it would be the traditional lemon pie filling.  In the foreground an almond chocolate bar with shortbread crust.  There was some raspberry in the topping as well.  The “after” picture would show two empty plates.  Apology for the somewhat fuzzy picture.  User error.  

I have been trying to cut back on sugar over the last while.  Perhaps that is what made me think that both desserts were very sweet.  The same word can be used to describe a visit with a friend on a cold afternoon.  Sweet.

If I’m going for something less sweet, perhaps I should try a biscotti.  After all, that’s the name of the place.

Do you have an activity that helps you through the dead of winter?

A Sunny Morning, A Heartwarming Visit and Simply Biscotti #14

by barbstruestories, posted in Family, Simply Biscotti Project

We have had a member of our family visiting from the UK for the past while.  She is part of our family in every way except for that small matter of being part of the family tree.  A mere detail, we say.  

On one sunny morning a few days ago we trekked off to Simply Biscotti (the place that originally spawned the reason behind this blog) on Preston St. in Ottawa.  Lyn was interested in seeing the spot that has been written up some here.  It was a great way to start a day.  Good for the soul.  

Lyn and Simply Biscotti

We enjoyed lattes, a morning-glory muffin and an almond tart with raspberry filling.  We’d recommend any and all of them.

I heard an interview with Paul Henderson yesterday.  He’s the hockey player that scored famously during the Russia-Canada hockey series oh so many years ago.  If you are a hockey fan, you’ll know all the details.  Paul spoke of, despite his notoriety, he feeling empty and unhappy.  He ultimately found what matters in life are relationships.  I don’t know hockey, but I am firmly convinced that when all is said is done, Paul has got it right.  It is family and it is relationships that give meaning to life.  (supplemented by the odd trip to Simply Biscotti).  What do you think?

 

Witticism in Few Words

by barbstruestories, posted in Birthday Greetings, Friendship, Life's observations, On the subject of "maturity"

Some days you can look and look for a greeting card that is just right and you come up empty.    Or you could choose a card thinking it was so very witty or fitting and find the recipient didn’t see it in the same light.    Has this happened to you?  I’d be interested in your true story.  

Then once in a while you find a card and think “Aha, this will be great!”

The Event

We are invited to a friend’s birthday party tonight.  I bought her a card I thought very witty.  I hope she does too.  If she doesn’t then I guess there could  be a follow-up blog titled “No So Witty After All”

The Visual

(credit to American Greetings)

The Greeting Inside

Ella’s Tree

by barbstruestories, posted in Death, Friendship, Life's observations, Planting a tree in memory

Chance Made Us Neighbours-Hearts Made Us Friends

Eight years ago today my dear friend Ella died.

Over twenty years ago, in another city and another time, we had new neighbours move in next door.  Our daughter, a single child, was standing on her bed watching the activity next door.  “Mom” she squealed with delight “They’ve got kids!!”.   Ella and husband Al had arrived with their four children.  Our families became close friends over the years.  We shared meals, we talked and laughed and experienced a great deal of life together as neighbours.  We coached a softball team together and naively hosted a shared garage sale thinking it would be fun.  We had keys for each others homes and often “shopped” in each other pantries if a trip to the store was inconvenient.    Two of the girls who are close in age to our daughter became sisters in everything but blood to her.  While the three of them are now separated by time and substantial distances, they remain close.

Ella and I became close friends.  I admired her strength, her humour, her energy and her capacity to love.  I marvelled at her blue eyes which burned brilliantly particularly when she was passionate about something-right through you I thought.  (based on those brilliant eyes and the sharp intellect I thought it wise to always stay on her team…not the opposing one.) 

While there are many things that could be said, the story I want to tell today is about Ella’s tree.  And something that happened after her death.  To this day when I tell the story I get goosebumps.

For a number of years before she died, Ella would travel to our family cottage at Crooked Lake in the Qu’Appelle Valley for a getaway.  She sometimes was with her family, sometimes with her dear friend Caroline and sometimes alone.  She loved the place-it was very special to her. When she died her family asked if they could plant a tree at the lake in her honour.

This is the story of the day we planted Ella’s tree.  I wrote and sent to Ella’s family shortly after the planting.

Crooked Lake from the top of the Qu’Appelle Valley

Ella’s Tree
On June 13, Al, Joanne (my sister) and I went to Lakeview Gardens to look at trees.  It was to be a tree in memory of Ella who so loved the lake and the times that she spent there over the years.  Al chose a crimson maple. It stood about 8 feet tall and the trunk was about 2 inches across. We planned to have the tree delivered to the lake the following weekend.

For those of us at the lake the week before the delivery, there was much discussion about where to plant the tree. On the left side of the lot, at the right side, at the front in the middle (no, that won’t do-Ella wouldn’t want the view spoiled). We acted like workers standing around a construction site waving our arms, pointing and doing everything but digging a hole.  Joanne didn’t stay the whole week but before she left to go back to the city, we said to her “Give us direction and we will dig the hole while you are gone.” She didn’t and so we waited for her return.

Joanne brought the tree out on the weekend of June 19. Saturday morning was a pleasant and sunny one and we retrieved the tree from the van. Then we started all over again. Should the tree be on the left side, should it be on the right, how far away from the current trees, how big will it grow (checking the tag and pacing off imaginary branches and leaves in all directions), what will it do to the neighbours’ view, what about the prevailing winds…..on and on. Finally Joanne said OK, this is the spot and away we went. Digging, digging, then putting root nutrient liquid in the hole, compost leaves from the back of the lot,a stake for stability and then the tree. We anchored the tree to the stake and stood back to survey our handiwork.

Kathy from the cottage next door came over and started to chat with Joanne. Kathy said she saw we had become arborists and Joanne said, yes, the tree was in memory of our dear friend Ella who had spent time at the cottage. Kathy knew Ella and was saddened by the news and she said:

“Oh, that lady…..that lady! I said to my husband, as you dug the hole…. where is that lady going to put her lawn chair for that’s where she always sat in the sun and read her book.”

And so, without realizing it, and with guidance that only Ella could give, we planted the tree where she did her reading on the lawn. I’m sure the rationale was that if she couldn’t sit in that spot then no one else could either. We will give the tree love and attention and we want to have you come to the lake to see it too.

It’s a lovely spot, a lovely tree and is a memory of a beautiful woman.

Joanne by Ella’s Tree June 2004

Epilogue
My sister Joanne died suddenly in September of that same year.  Two families and their friends devastated by the deaths of strong, loving and wonderful women.  Ella’s tree faired well for a number of years.  The cottage property was sold.  We didn’t leave the tree behind.  We couldn’t do that.