To The Person(s) Who Stole Things In The Middle Of The Night

To The Person(s) Who Stole Things From Our Car In The Middle Of The Night

At our house we have always tried to pay heed to what is called loss prevention

We take measures to keep our stuff ours without going too far

And wouldn’t you know you’d come by when we’d lost our attention

And in the middle of the night you had the nerve to go into our car


Indeed it seems it’s the one time in forever that the car wasn’t locked

We are responsible for part of story but then, so are you

And you got a few things that might well be hocked

While it won’t change a thing, there are some things I will hope will come true


May the parking change you took buy a coffee that tastes terrible

And the sunglasses-may they have run out of UVA and UVB

May the thought of what you’ve done make living with yourself hardly bearable

And for the largest score, well may it not set you free


The GPS was out of sight but you found and took it

And for you may it direct you post-haste

Rather than to the address to a deep ditch in a pit

And there you find that coffee you bought was Ex-Lax laced


You are without face, we don’t know who you are

No matter, respect for others’ property doesn’t faze you a bit

If you are male, then a quote from a Judith Viorst as you stole from our car

“When you zip up your pants may your zipper get stuck with you in it”